Regulation in Elementary School
As an elementary aged child one of our children would cry about EVERYTHING! Honestly, I can handle a tantrum better than I can handle crying at the drop of a hat. It felt to me like manipulation, but to this child it was simply overwhelm. Any request or minor correction, conflict with a sibling, or activity that was not their first choice resulted in tears. I wish I had responded better at that time with calm and options for helping them to calm down like the suggestions in this video, but I didn't have those tools at that time. Fortunately, this child has learned regulation strategies so that as a teenager they are no longer bursting into tears! In fact, they have become an emotionally aware kid that has the language to communicate their feelings. As a younger child we weren't sure this would ever happen. Let me share tools with you that I wish I had known in the thick of parenting! Reach out to me to increase your parenting toolbox of skills to meet the needs of your challenging child.
Yelling
Are you a yeller? Just a reminder that yelling begets more yelling and then your child starts yelling......There is a better way.
Co- Regulation in Preschool
Does your preschool child feel emotionally out of control? This is not a surprise as most children this age are! You are not alone. This age is so important to teach children how to identify and regulate their big feelings. Here are some tips to do just that! Do you know a family struggling with a preschool child that seems to be extra challenging? I would love to work with them! Send me a message with any referrals you might have.
Go to your room!
Sometimes taking a break in their room is helpful for a child to calm down but most often this is not a good parenting strategy. We are often saying to a disregulated and out of control child....go figure this out by yourself. They don't have the tools to figure this out alone. They need your presence and skills to regulate their behavior. What could be a better strategy in your home for helping a child regulate when things seem out of control? Do you have a special place near you where they can go? What kinds of sensory activities do you provide during these times?
Mental Load
As moms, we often carry the mental load for each person in our family as well as the schedule, food plan, and activity director. It is exhausting! This time of year becomes extra stressful as we add the mental load of creating a "Magical" Christmas for our families. Take a minute to evaluate your mental load...the things you feel responsible for planning and making happen. Are there some items of this list that are really the responsibility of someone else? Are there things that you continue to do for your child that they should really be doing for themselves? If something comes to mind...leave a comment of what you might be able to turn over to your child or someone else in your life and give yourself the gift of a lighter mental load.
Thanksgiving
Does your family think that your child is a picky eater and if you just "encouraged" them to eatdifferent kinds of foods it would get better? This pressure from extended family, especially around the holidays can be overwhelming both for you and your child. Not all of your family will understand the needs of your child, but it might be helpful to lay the groundwork before you are in the moment with a simple message or email helping your family understand the needs of your child and requesting that all food decisions and discussions are handeled by you. With a little bit of preparation and explanation your family might be more receptive to the way you are handling things! And if they are not...reach out to me and we can talk about ways to handle judgements from family. That is a hard one!
Parenting Invite
By default, we parent the way that we have been parented. For many of us the only example we had for parenting was our own personal experience. Are there habits in your parenting that have carried over from your own childhood that you would like to change? Share in the comments something you remember of the way you were parented that would not be acceptable for today's parents.... Reach out to me and we can discover together new ways of parenting your children that is in alignment with your values.